Tuesday, May 27, 2008

random thoughts

well....i had an interesting weekend so say the least
i wish to f ing god this computer...or whatever you want to call it would download my pictures, but it refuses to do so...
lilys party was saturday...
i just wanted to say thank you to dj's mom and my mother and father for all the help
thank you so much
i would love to vent and bitch...but i am not gonna waste time, space or typing energy to do so...
most people, the ones that are close to me, know what happened this weekend
i dont know what to do..
most women i feel would know
i do not
and that is how i am gonna leave it
i just dont know

i do know that i think i am having anxiety attacks..
certain things overwhelm me and i get chest pains and shortness of breath
my tounge feels like is swells and i have to lay down...


i do want to say this....

i would love to know what thing was placed in a mans head that makes them the way they are...
thought less....
completely selfish
and always right

if anyone would care to shed some light on this....please please...
feel free to enlighten me

and why do we as women put up with the bull shit

for guilt maybe
past mistakes...

or maybe it s "for the kids"

not sure

i am not sure why women stay...
i am exploring today..thoughts
so bear with me

i may blog alot
or none

never mind
i dont have shit to say


Anonymous said...

I wonder why he stays...

supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...

ANd.. it's always fun to decipher IP codes. I wonder if Jenn figured out anonymous yet. :)

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for you....I wish I could take it all away....I don't know what went on....You always keep me at an arms length..maybe that is a good thing...I won't forgive and forget....I know you are not perfect none of us are...but don't mess with MY KID!!!
Try to walk ( for the anxiety ) it does help. Love you

Anonymous said...

I rarely feel passionate about what I write but I have a few thoughts about why he stays. I am thinking he feels he has no where to go. Men are little boys inside. Women in their lives have always been there to nurture, care for, protect, feed etc. Girls however are tought to be polite, dont fart, pick your nose, play baseball. Clean, do laundry, have babies. Holidays, we cook, prepare: they eat, fart, fall asleep; we clean up. It does not make it right. We have to change it. I have a great husband but he still has times when he falls into that genetic pool of shit. Generally if asked he will do anything I want him too! But why should I have to ask... I think if DJ continues to behave like he has, it may be time for an ultimatum. Child support, custody etc. It may be challenging but in the end you will both be forced to share the responsibilities. You both have families that ultimately love you and will support you. Together you are toxic. I dont see it getting better without a total commitment from both of you to fix yourselves and create a life together for you and your kids. Marriage is very hard even if it is a good one. But you have to make it together, for better and worst.
Love you
Aunt Kath

supahmommy- somethin's wrong with that girl said...

Sorry.. I edited a portion. Don't want/mean to cause you an unecessary strife.

Hmmm... I wonder what anonymous means by " stay." By definition in this "situation" I would think it would mean: give it your all, be the best that you can be in all facets of what you committed 10 times over.. to do. Grind your nose to the core trying to make it work.

BUt.. I'm thinking it's more like.

Stay: take up space. Create havoc. Show disrespect and be irresponsible.

Cheers. :)

Dont' mess with my friend.