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Friday, March 28, 2008

just the tip of the ice berg

i was reminded today that i am funny
and well, that i whine.....WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too much
so i was trying to thinkm of a topic and i came across debs blog..
the 80's
while most people think of the eighties as big hair, punk music, good times

well

i have a few other thoughts of the eighties
you see i was the awkward 13 year old in what 1988...
i was like 5'11 and most of the boys were trying to be 5'5...
it was not a fun time for me ....liking boys ....well it was a struggle
i still think some of them only did it cause they felt sorry for me...

anyway

i thought i would blog about the "firsts"

but i sit here thinking back and as messed up as we all were then....those are some of the best memories of my life...
those were the days of discovery
discovering who i was..well....sort of

8th grade is the year i got my period...lol
we were sledriding down the path from west on our social studies books
me, deb....and i dont really remember who else...all i know is Jon Zinza was there...and i just loved him...
we all went back to my house... i think my mom was home and i am sure we had hot chocolate or some shit....
but i went to go change and pee and
BOOM
there is was
i thought i shit my pants
i was freaking out
i mean come on ...jon zinza was hanging out in the basement and i shit my pants without knowing it...
all i could think of was ..
did anyone see this mess
and worse yet....can they smell it............CHRIST
my mom was like...
oh jen..its your period ....there are pads under the sink...
like it was no biggy
and i thought that was it....the big talk
thanks
little did i know i would be attending a "coming of age"class with her......
people
this was one of the most disturbing memories of 8th grade
walking into that class room....the first thing i saw
LMAO
was a 6 foot (maybe 4, but it seemed huge to me) VAGINA
yes
you read that right, i swear to god it was life sized adn big and plastic and it still haunts my dreams at times........
i was so freaking nervous....especially when they started talking about sex.....
jesus, i was embarassed to watch kissing scenes in a movie with my mother let alone talk about S-E-X with her....i never even kissed a boy at this point in my life....
anyway
later in the class, we all got to see how to insert a tampon - yes, thank you
yes....and
we got to play a board game that followed the steps of conception, like candyland but with sex topics....
jesus..
i was humiliated...
lol
my mother meant well, honest to god....
i am making a promise to my girls right now...
no classes

speaking of kissing.........
i can remember wanting to kiss a boy soooooooo bad.....and i just couldn't
i remember watching jill yearsley kissing thomas in 6th grade and i just couldn't
i mean OPEN mouth.....WTF!
and they would just sit and kiss for like f-ing ever.......
brian later broke up with me to "go with" jill....hmmmmmmmmm


anyway..eith grade, thomas kilgours house...skipping school
EVERYONE was kissing.........
everyone
not me.......
too scared
took me til late eighth grade......
sean richardson of all people........lol
and kissing was so weird then....you would just kiss for like hours.........gross
lol

thomas kilgours house was the party house then
and i cannot believe that i got drunk for the first time in 8th grade.........
playing quarters with jack daniels at his dining room table
watching sara wise get the epilady stuck in her hair, and secretly hoping we would have to cut it out....anything to flaw her cuteness....sorry....
frank sacremento threw my kennywood outfit socks onto thomas' roof that day and i remember being so afraid to go home...my mother would know something was up
i mean, if nothing else..she knew what i was wearing when i left the house and in the late 80's you always matched your socks to your outfit...
not like the smell of puke and jack daniels would be enough,
or the fact that i got thrown in the pool with my kennywood outfit on.........she probably smelled the chlorine..........or noticed the fusia pink i was wearing was a little faded
god
i can remember that day like it was yesterday
feeling so cool
and at the same time to inadequate, awkward...... so 13

more to come.......

2 comments:

~~~~~d~~~~ said...

i just about pissed my pants:
epilady.. sara...vagina.. life size..
john zinza.. shit.. lmao..
so fucking funny

Carrie said...

ya know. i think i blame all our problems on all the hairspray from the 80s. aquanet--class action law suit, right? look at all that big hair...how much hairspray did it take to hold that shit up. it literally fried our brains.

john zinza....oh gaawwd...(insert inflection of "finding nemo")CURSE YOU AQUANET!!!!!!