Thursday, October 23, 2008 gone

you know
i just got a very honest and touching email from my favorite relative...
and she brought something to my attention that made me think
why is this anonymous part of my life
why with such harshness and anonymity is this person even in my life
why do they want to know me?
i am not sure
if you have such strong feelings for me
for my past
such loathing
then why not remove yourself from my life
or is it just easier to sit and judge me
ridicule me for my mistakes than look at your own
or that someone is doing to you

go ahead
i will be your punching bag...
get it all out
cause i can laugh daily
i look back and cringe and cry and hurt for all i did
but how long am i supposed to mourn the mistakes i have made

i love my life so much now
i like me
with all the bull shit
i have lots of character....lmao

and i can do this because i do have a wonderful family
that does care
they dont have to agree with my fuck ups and they can tell me to get up off my ass and do something with my life...
and they can have their opinion
but then that's it
they are not my judge
nor are you
you are not better than me
or anyone else
life is short
too short for someone like you in my life
cause it may not be today
or tomorrow of a year from now
but trust me
the truth always surfaces.................ALWAYS
i will find out who wrote me these love letters
and what will i do with them
because if i let every bad comment or opinion ruin my life
i would be six feet under
~deep breath~
and i am gonna quote her ...... my favorite relative....
"anyone can stay for the rainbow - it is the people that are there after the storm "
and you know what
i should keep that in mind every day
thank you
be gone oh negative one