Monday, May 31, 2010

im ok

lol...i cant sleep..
i had to blogg..
i am actually giddy right now
thank GOD for the decisions that he made this week..
i forgot about me for a second ..
the true me..who i really am
not who you think you know
who i let you know
toxic relationships make you a different person ...
ex's are ex's for a reason
wether it was me or him...its over
its been over for years
its hard to see someone else move on..god knows he did and now i know
and she truly is just like mike..
someone to pass the time..till things get serious and you see who they really are
someone that makes you feel good..
they are not long term people...AT ALL
so ..whatever
i am ok
i am sad
i did not cry
and i will not
and there will never be an us again and i am ok with it
... i think...

i sat and talked to my kids tonight..they have so much genuine love for me
we have such good days now..we get a long so well
and i feel so bad that for two days i was so wrapped up in all the stupid shit...
that i wasnt paying attention to them
it will never happen again
such an unconditional love is overwhelming..
so when you put everything into perspective..

nothing else AT ALL matters

i just wish i would breathe...take a step back and then react..
i just react..
although..i regret nothing about what i said to her..
to him..the family..a little..

so anyway
i am getting back on track..
i am fucking completely insane

but i am glad i can get myself back together now
my kids ground me..
show me whats right
funny it should be the other way around..
i hope they know i love them..
i think they do
they do

there really must be something theraputic in the water at aunt kathy's pool

its early in the am..i am ok..
everything is ok..
im back


Live and Learn the Hard Way said...

glad to hear you're doing okay. I'm really rooting for you!