Tuesday, April 14, 2009


today was a real hard day
i watched my husband...(yes, legally we are married)
bury his best friend...
slowly over the years, all of us at one time or another have tried to help
tried to show him we were there
tried to hold him
let him cry
let him hurt
he has struggled with a heavy addiction
a disease i know well
feeling alone, even when people are all around you
wanting out ....even when you cannot fight
i dont believe that tom did this on purpose
i believe is was totally .... well, i geuss it is one in the same
putting the drugs in your body does slowly kill you
as i walked into that funeral home, seeing him laying there actually weakened my knees...
i never felt what i did
i cried...

i wasnt toms best friend

i didnt grow up with him

but he was a part of my life...

he was always a shoulder

and i was glad to be his

i wish i would have never let him go that day..

let him cry on my shoulder

felt him shake as he held me so tight

tom was and is a good person that got caught up in a horrible disease

he is loved

he is, was and will be missed

he doesnt have to fight now

he is truly in the arms of angels

i hope no one ever feels the addiction, the loneliness, the hopelessness of the disease

i am glad i got out and found my own strength to overcome a demon,

i have many...

one day

everything will come together....

i am working on it!


GoddessNow said...

I definitely FEEL you. Blessings and be well

Irishembi said...

I'm sorry for your loss. He has a nice smile. It's a bitch of a disease and you're NEVER EVER cured. It's a battle for life. I'm so sorry he lost his.