my next adventure......

I just wanted to give you all a little new kids update

i love him

it is so funny how pictures...old and new can bring back so many feeelings and scents and memories and well just take me back to possibly the happiest days of my life

see...

people think i am nuts over this whole reunion...

that the new kids fans are just insane...

but how many of you closet fans are totally excited to relive those care free days...

i mean i think that is what most of my excitement is

it is the fact that when i see this mans face i think of my first love

i think of how innocent a first crush is

i think of eighth grade and how i would have rather been in my room listening to "please don t go girl" and staring at his picture instead of worrying about some dumb immature boy likig me at school.....lmao

these five men took up so much of my emotion and love and tears and excitement....

i can barely contain myself NOW when i see them...

anyway

just thought i would let everyone know....

i did the high ropes course...

did the out of my element, out of my comfort zone....

i am totally on for the next trip....

our next adventure

deb and i

deb jen and i...
deb jen emma me lily and abby.....

new york

may 16th

look for us

front row on the today show....

i can almost guarantee that i will be in the front row....probably crying...

shoving my girls on stage....

but dont let any of the kidlets shake a new kid hand before me......

lmao

girls gone mild

ok
we are gonna not answer any questions regarding previous blog
anywho.....
girl gone mild weekend
lol
i did it
i completed the course
50 freakin feet high
and even though i cried, hogged the rope and only let debby hold my elbow...
i could have never gotten through the course with out her...
trust..
truly
...what a weekend!
and as for the pics..well

can you say fat
muffin top
just BIG
so i will only post a few
lol
or maybe just from the shoulders up
and well...i will post them later...
i am actually too sore
it hurts my arm muscles to type
hey
you try pulling a three hundred pound body up a wall of little freakin pegs
or being so scared that every muscle in your body is tense and flexed for two hours...
lol
i loved every second
good friends
good wine
good food
GOOD SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

hello

no dont get excited
i am not back
debs recovery disks did not work on the old laptop...

i found some things out this morning...
well...sort of not this morning...
but feel like shit non the less
a little disturbing
i am a little frustrated and disappointed...
very disappointed in me...
accidental or not...
i did it
yet again....

no it is not drugs...

i tend to let myself down a lot
it is just when people believe in me
i fail them...and myself
not purposely
just stupidly...

i will explain more later
life so sucks sometimes

miss me

i know you all must be wondering where the hell i am
well
yet agian the good ol laptop pooped out
anywho
i will catch you all up on all of the excitging happenings in my life when i get someone who has xp or vista for me for the computer......
there
i just gave you something to look forward to
hmm
i know
you are on edge of your seat
see ya

random thoughts

are we all truly happy with the ways our lives are?
with ourselves?
like if you found out you were going to die tomorrow...would you be ok with yourself
i think we all think of showing happines,love, graditude as something that someone does for us or that someone gives us...
but what do you give to others?
what do i give?
sometimes a simple hug can brighten someones day....
and it is amazing how that can make you feel too...
i dont think i have given enough
i want to make a difference in peoples lives..
i have been trying, lately
to be there for the important moments
not only with my kids and husband, but my friends and family
i want to have a full life now..
so that i can look back one day and say
yep
i lived
i laughed
i loved
i made a difference

see you soon taunty

Make a photobook - it's easy!

a sad day for everyone
marylin herman touched many of us in a lot of differnt ways
but touched us none the less
she will be missed
at reunions...she was the one who appreciated them the most
she touched us all in different ways
but i will remeber her as being so happy with just a hello and a hug from family..
she loved all the kids and taking pictures with them...made her day
she loved taking my brothers college drinking money in a high stakes skat game too...
she did not hesitate one second to take the bank from him ...at her glorious win....we laugh
when everyone talked about her yesterday...
they spoke with a smile
there really isnt a bad word that you could think of when speaking of her...
her whole life....
but it didnt hit me until i sat with taunty at the end of the evening...
she is truly devistated
she said to me...i dont want to sleep, jen, i dont want to dream of her...
brought tears to my eyes
this woman took care of her daughter her whole life...
she was her life
and now that she came to the end of a long road...taunty is left with just memories
i held her little shaky hand as she cried...
her world has been taken away...for the better yes,
but taken away non the less
i will pray for taunty
to have the continued strength to hold on...to live another day....without her daughter
my mom said it best
she got her wish jen
she always wanted marylin to go first.
so that she wasnt alone and most of all
so that she would be taken care of
taunty lives a full life..
she is a strong woman
91 years old
that amazes me
i looked at her in a different light yesterday
a mother
with a full heart
and a sadness that will take a long time to repair
the thought of her returning home, to see marylins things and no marylin..well, tugs at my heart
we all that god that she has rich and maggie
i hope that she will be able to rest easy now..well, as easy as she can
knowing marylin is not hurting
and is with her most favorite people
uncle rege, aunt helen and her dad
rest in peace marylin..you will be missed