i love life

sooooooooo......
i have been doing a lot of thinking
about life
-i know-
you all are probably like.......here we go......
lol
but no...
i just want to say
life is good.......
it is really good
even with the bad emotional shit....
its good
i have my kids....i love listening to them talk, cry, fight.....
i love that they love each other at the end of the day
they protect each other, they play together and
well
all in all
they are pretty good kids
and i love my life
lol
did i say that
it has been a long time since i have woken up on a daily basis and said........
another day...
but in a positive way
i am at a point where i cannot wait to wake up
to see what my day will hold
i have found a new sense of security in my self
self confidence....
i feel positive





"i am strong because i am weak
i am beautiful because i know my flaws
i am a lover because i am a fighter
I am fearless because i have been afraid
i am wise because i have been foolish
......and I can laugh because i have known sadness....."



i love that quote
i feel like it nails me
instead of dwelling on all my mistakes...
i can be happpy, in a way, that i made the mistakes
i can embrace life today
yes
i know how to fuck up
today
i know how to make things right.....
i know how to let someone care about me
to actually let someone love me
to listen as well as speak...
to give someone else love....
i dont know what to say
a lot of you dont agree with the person that i am with
but you dont know him
everyone judges
makes their own comments
but i just want to say
i have been judged
i have been ridiculed
and i have been hurt
and it hurts
really bad
to hear that people that you care about, your family
can talk that easily behind your back
it hurts
watch what you say people....
words hurt worse than anything i know
please at least have the guts to say or talk about me or him to my face
i let others thoughts and words hurt me for a long time
i refuse to let you hurt me or him anymore
i will stand up for what i believe in now...
i will not stand back and watch and listen to what people say and just agree so that i can avoid confrontation
i am happy
genunily happy
this may not last forever...
i am not looking for forever right now
but right now
i have a person in my life that i feel completely safe with
i feel happy most of every minute of the day
i have someone that SHOWS love for me
and i feel comfortable enought to do the same
we talk, we laugh, we dance, we play......
he gives me everything i have ever wanted in a man...
really
so all of you that hate it or hate me for being with him...
i dont care
lol
i really dont
misery loves company and i am not joining your club again

race car buggies

what the hell
who invented this











do you realize that everytime i get to go to giant eagle....
everytime we walk in
everytime
we fight for this buggy
and i wouldn't care
at all
except
with four kids
in giant eagle
trying to push this big rig through the damn store


well


is a joke
you have to like back up and turn a certain way
so god forbid if you forget something in the same aisle
you have to just loop around the next one to get back to get that one packet of koolaid that you forgot that your daughter will freak out about cause she doesnt have something green to drink ..


ok


i have vented enough



i am putting out a petion to ban the race car buggies and the god forsakin ones that can fit like all of my kids in...
you know
the ones with the extended cab
i think they are at wal mart


too much!

Hangin tough

lol



I LOVE IT

OCTOBER 2ND 2008

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this is us......peeing ourselves before leaving Jenny's

this was one of the first seconds they were there...right in front of my face and nada....nothing......NO WORDS!

yes...this is actually joe mcintyre standing at our table.... i look all calm.....inside...i had bubble guts and i was screaming........

yep.....my arm touching danny wood.......yep he is a little guy.....lol

these were the coolest girls to have experienced this with....i will never forget this birthday...

this is when i shit myself.....i mean ....really.....come on....

then we leave the meet and greet and this is our view...........amazing concert...............just .......

and there he is the love of my life.....

all of my dreams have come true......

yeah .............

joe .....jordan.....donnie..............AHHHHHHHHHHH

WE JUST COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

i think about you in the summertime......woah

we love you.............

i absolutley will be loving my new kids forever!

new kids ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

this is it


the photo you have all been waiting for


that is my pink arm around donnie wahlbergs neck
i may have been choking him
that was pretty much it
i waited 20 years to meet this man
always talkin shit of what i would say to them
to him
that i loved him over half of my life
and as soon as they came out i froze
literally
i froze
i stood in front of him as another fan...slut whore fan came rushing over in front of me
rubbing all over him and he was returning the favor i might add
but anyway
joe mcintyre made his way over to me
i wish all of you could have been inside my head
panic attack city
and not moving
did i mention that
i watched jenny and deb making their way around to all o f them
debby questioning the shit out of jordan
WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER
and jen shmoozing like she had known them forever
and then there was me
lmao
nothing
no words
as donnie made eye contact with me
lol
i freaked
he said
are you ok
and took my hand
checked me out
lol
ah ha
for real
told me i had nice legs
i still had nothing
no words
i just hugged him
smelling him
lol
then just stood watching
i could not beleive it
then i look up as jon knight walked near and saw deb almost tackle the fuck out of danny wood to get to him
lol
what a night ladies and gents
and well
to top that
we had like the BEST ever seats for the concert
lol
third row center stage
i think i t was third
third or fourth
it was the most amazing night ever
i will never forget it and i will always cherish that i shared it with my bff and fellow new kids loving friend deb
( and jenny too)
and well
it was emotional and fun and exhausting
i hope it is not there last show





lol


more pics to follow when i get em

ahem
deb
cd
lol

thank you deb
thank you
thank you
thank you

nine kids...........lets play

i am laughing my ass off right now
lol
not laughing cause something is funny
laughing cause i am about to check into western psych


i agreed to let the kids have friends over after school
thinking that they would play quietly
LMAO

yeah right

at first
nice peaceful
the girls were playing, making bracelets
collin and kim....both 3 and 4
playing together
there were five addtional coming over today
so yes if you are doing the math
that would be 9 children under the age of nine





WHAT THE THE FUCK WAS I THINKING...........




AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



SO AFTER ABOUT 20 MIN OF THE KIDS DEVOURING SNACKS
(no food left)
TEARING UP THE HOUSE
(every single toy is out and half are broken)
AND WRESTLING
(jared punching and kicking the shit out of abby....and in turn abby beating the shit out of jared to prove she "aint no punk")
i decided to head to the park



tire these kids out



leasson learned


one friend at a time


or just get rid of mine...............

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

happy days

today i am happy.............
for real
i feel really good inside
my life is changing for the better
all over the place
i love life
ha ha ha